a wee list of 13 things to help you get through this Halloween…


– – – ——————- I ——————- – – –

We don’t know much about werewolves but we do know a wee fox-terrier puppy who barks at the moon cause he thinks it’s a saucer of milk, and if you give him milk for real he’s happy and goes to bed…we think this should work for werewolves too.

– – – ——————- II ——————- – – –

Your average monster under the bed is completely harmless but we still recommend wearing socks when you sleep cause sometimes they will mistake your toes for peanuts and try to eat them.

– – – ——————- III ——————- – – –

Most ghost are invisible so it’s a good idea to leave out an old jacket or a snazzy hat for them to wear so that you don’t accidently sit on them when they are watching the telly.

– – – ——————- IV ——————- – – –

Whisky is not a ghost although it says spirit* on the bottle but if you drink too much you will become a zombie for a wee while.
*Whisky is called a distilled spirit, a ghost is called a distressed spirit

– – – ——————- V ——————- – – –

We think everyone spends most of their time thinking about exactly the same things as we do and that would mean everyone’s head is filled with thoughts of cupcakes and cookies…which would explain why zombies always want to eat their brains!

– – – ——————- VI ——————- – – –

It’s very lucky to meet a ghost when you are on holiday in a new city cause they can go show you buildings and places that don’t exist anymore.

– – – ——————- VII ——————- – – –

When a bug becomes lazy they are lazybugs…but when a bee becomes lazy they turn into zombees!

– – – ——————- VIII ——————- – – –

Not all nightmares are about monsters chasing you…like one time we had a dream that we spent all day tiding our room and then when we woke up it was still a big mess!

– – – ——————- IX ——————- – – –

There is no reason to be afraid of toilet rolls, they are not neatly dressed mummies.

– – – ——————- X ——————- – – –

All vampires are scared of the sun, this is because they are made of butter and afraid they will melt. (it’s also why they don’t like garlic or bread rolls)

– – – ——————- XI ——————- – – –

A Jack-O-lantern or pumpkin ghost is not the only scary vegetable, you also get phantomatoes, corpsgettes, and of course the most scariest of all…Brussels sprouts.

– – – ——————- XII ——————- – – –

Sometimes when something scary is peaking at you from the corner you will get goosebumps but it’s very important not to run away when this happens cause my brother says if you do, the goosebumps will turn into chicken pox and that’s much worse!

– – – ——————- 13 ——————- – – –

If you ever read a list on Halloween, and if it’s a list of thirteen things, there is one very very very important thing to remember…

Oopsy-daisies…we accidentally listed our tip about not doing what tip number 13 tells you at number 13! This means if you listen to our wonderful advice and you don’t do what it says…you are actually doing exactly what it says…which you should never do! This is what’s called a paranormal paradox.

We hope you enjoyed all our wee little Halloween list and apologise for putting you all inside a paradox…our best advice is to share this wee post with all your lovely friends cause they might have a solution to this tricky treat…